The She-Wolf
by RilayaTrash
Summary: Some terminology is based off of The Wolves of The Beyond. This is a poetic interpretation of something that occurred in my life. (I am posting these unrelated stories because I am finding them on my phone)
There once was a she-wolf who lived with her pack in the forest. She was a Lord, the highest rank in her pack. This was unusual for she-wolves because it required strength and dominance, which most she-wolves did not aquire. But she was better than the male Lords and would always be seen leading the pack.

This particular she-wolf had a strong sense of religion, as did most of her pack members. She had learned this from her father and mother and the Chieftain of her Clan. This religion believed that every wolf has two wolves inside them: a Good wolf and a Bad wolf. The Good wolf was of light and followed the words of the Great Wolf, the only true God of the Wolves. The Gnaw wolves that followed the Great Wolf had gnawed His words onto bones, which rest in a pile known as the Holy Bones. You could find the answer to anything in the Holy Bones. The Bad wolf, however, is full of evil and sin. The Bad wolf will appear in a beautiful fashion, in the form of flowers or such. Then before you realize it, you have fallen from the Great Wolf's path.  
If you do good and follow the Holy Bones, you will live on forever. If you do bad and go by the way of the Bad wolf, you will live an eternal life of pain and torture.

This she-wolf knew this and believed in it since this had been what she had been taught. Still, she felt something... off. Something strange inside her about the whole thing. She did not know what but the thought of that unknown scared her, the bravest and toughest. She soon was to find what this strange feeling was.

The she-wolf knew practically every wolf in her Clan, let alone her pack. She had her friends by her side and never felt lonely a day in her life. But one day, she noticed something strange. She had known everyone in her pack so long and she thought she had sorted herself out.

She thought she knew exactly how to handle what she felt. But this feeling... it swelled up inside her. A passion, a feeling so deep, so caring, so Strong that it almost overwhelmed her. What caused this feeling? Another wolf. A wolf that had been apart of her pack for a long time. She had never felt this strongly...

She had had a feeling quite similar occur before. She wrecked herself in the pain of this unknown. Howling sorrowfully every night. No one knew why. And when they asked she made up a lie. She was looking for a mate! Only a mate would understand her! Of course, her passion would die before anything could progress. But this Unknown Feeling of emotion would captivate her and blow her away as she cried and tore herself apart trying to tear the Bad wolf out of her. The pain of this unknown would die out. But the passion would always return!

But this time. This time was different! This one was special. They had a connection from the start and became friends instantly. But the feeling was more. Much Much more. Of course, she knew what the Holy Bones of the Great Wolf said. So she thought, of course this cannot be true!

Nights and days passed and ever night she howled to the moon a call of Help, a call of Pain. Until one night she decided what to do. She went out and found her friend and took the wolf with her, deep into the forest. They sat on the soft, cool grass and the she-wolf took a deep breath... and spilled absolutely everything. Fear overwhelmed her as the pain of her Unknown came spilling out to her friend. And what her friend spoke in return suprised her. Her friend was struggling too. All fear escape the she-wolf and she spilled her heart's desires. All was well in that night, she thought. Wrong.

Her parents soon found out and completely ruined her. They removed all of her priveleges and almost had the Cheiftain remove her from the Lord rankings. Luckily, they didn't. They spoke of the Great Wolf's dissaproval of her ways and reminded her of the Bad wolf. They eventually convinced her that she was wrong. They convinced her of her evil doing and her following of the Bad wolf's ways. She cried every night.

She was so consumed with pleasing her parents and the Great Wolf that she forgot herself. She even argued their point to one of her other friends, who in turn became angry and did not speak to her again after the occassion. So lost and confused, the she-wolf told everyone whom she had told of her ways that she had repent. And some were overjoyed! Others couldn't have cared less. She even told the wolf she spoke to that night that she had turned away from that, as the Holy Bones had spoken of its evil. Her friend didn't seem to have any emotion. It was as if nothing had happened. Wonderful, the she-wolf thought.

But as time went on, the she-wolf got more confused. And more depressed. Her depression settled into every corner of her being. Her worry ate away at her joy. She did not see the light at the end of the tunnel as she once did. She felt pain everytime she spoke to her friend. She could not have her friend in the way she originally intended. And it broke her spirit. Why would the Great Wolf have her feel this way? Why is she forced to lie to everyone around her? And herself.

She still cares for her friend. She still wants her friend in that way. But it cannot happen because it is against her ways. Depression and despair is her only state of being. She still misses the way her and her friend used to speak. Oh the sweet words of yesterday. But the struggles of the future are long and hard. She is lost and confused. She wants her friend back, but in the way she wishes. She still loves that wolf. And I still love you.


End file.
